Got this email from Tim, I've seen it before, but its always great! In case you needed further proof that the Human Race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer products:

On a blanket from Taiwan -
NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO.

On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists -
REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU.

On a Taiwanese shampoo -
USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE.

On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavoured milk drink -
AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT.

On a New Zealand insect spray -
THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.

In a US guide to setting up a new computer -
TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM
TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING. (Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE
the box.)

On a Japanese product used to relieve painful haemorrhoids - LIE DOWN ON
BED AND INSERT POSCOOL SLOWLY UP TO THE PROJECTED PORTION LIKE A
SWORD-GUARD INTO ANAL DUCT. WHILE INSERTING POSCOOL FOR APPROXIMATELY 5
MINUTES, KEEP QUIET.

In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles -
OPEN OTHER END.

On a packet of Sunmaid raisins -
WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVOURITE BREAKFAST CEREAL?

On a Sears hairdryer -
DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.

On a bag of Fritos -
YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. DETAILS INSIDE. (The
shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap -
DIRECTIONS - USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP.
(And that would be how?)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box) -
DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN.
(Too late! You lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -
PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On a Korean kitchen knife -
WARNING: KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN.
(Dammit! Who are they to tell me what to do with my kids?)

On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights -
FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY.
(As opposed to use in outer space?)

On a Japanese food processor -
NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts -
WARNING - CONTAINS NUTS.
(Really? And that's bad why?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts
INSTRUCTIONS - OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS.
(I'm glad they cleared that up.)

On a Swedish chainsaw -
DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR GENITALS.
(What kind of consumer phone-call led to this warning?)

On a child's superman costume -
WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY.
(That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)

On some frozen dinners:
SERVING SUGGESTION: DEFROST.

On a hotel provided shower cap in a box:
FITS ONE HEAD.

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
DO NOT IRON CLOTHES ON BODY.

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
DO NOT DRIVE CAR OR OPERATE MACHINERY.

On Nytol sleep aid:
WARNING: MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS.

Read Story

"If you have the ivory tower view that the internet is good only if everything on it is good you are mistaken."

"The internet is a reflection of our society and that mirror is going to be reflecting what we see," he said. "If we do not like what we see in that mirror the problem is not to fix the mirror, we have to fix society."
Vint Cerf

Peter Steiner - page 61 of July 5, 1993 issue of The New Yorker, (Vol.69 (LXIX) no. 20)

update on the stupid thing... i just couldnt be bothered doing my essay

(x) ran a red light

it wasnt fun

The Microsoft Millionaires Come of Age - New York Times: "The Microsoft Millionaires Come of Age"

"The NYTimes is running a story about the ways in which Microsoft millionaires are putting their money to use. According to the story, there is somewhere around 10,000 Microsoft made millionaires spending money on various pet projects. For example, former programmer Chris Peters bought the PBA (Professional Bowlers Association), while Stephanie DeVaan founded a political action committee and Rich Tong founded Ignition Partners, a VC firm."

Read on

A man's silence is wonderful to listen to.
- Thomas Hardy
mmm, the ammount of times I have resolved to talk less...

Put an 'x' next to things you have done: be honest...

Copy and paste this into your own blog and cross the things you have done...

() smoked a cigarette
() smoked a cigar
() made out with a member of the same sex
(x) been in love
() been dumped
() shoplifted
() been fired
(x) been in a fist fight
() snuck out of my parent's house
(x) had feelings for someone who didnt have them back
() been arrested
() made out with a stranger
() gone on a blind date
(x) lied to a friend
() had a crush on a teacher
(x) skipped school
() slept with a co-worker
() seen someone die
() had a crush on one of your myspace friends
() been to Canada
() been to Mexico
(x) been on a plane
() thrown up in a bar
(x) set a part of myself on fire
(x) eaten sushi
(x) been moshing/crowd surfing at a show
() love someone and miss someone right now
(x) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
(x) made a snow angel
(x) had a tea party
(x) flown a kite
(x) built a sand castle
(x) riden through puddles on a bike
() gone puddle jumping
(x) played dress up
(x) jumped into a pile of leaves
() gone sledding
(x) cheated while playing a game
(x) been lonely
(x) fallen asleep at work/school
() used a fake id
(x) watched the sun set
(x) felt an earthquake
(x) touched a snake
(x) been tickled
(x) been robbed
(x) been misunderstood
(x) pet a reindeer/goat
(x) won a contest
() ran a red light
() been suspended from school
(x) been in a car accident (nothing major obviously)
(x) had braces
() felt like an outcast
() eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(x) had deja vu
() danced in the moonlight
() hated the way you look
(x) witnessed a crime
(x) questioned your heart
() been obsessed with post-it notes
(x) squished barefoot through the mud
(x) been lost
(x) been to the opposite side of the country
(x) swam in the ocean
(x) felt like dying
(x) cried yourself to sleep
(x) played cops and robbers
(x) recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers
() sung karaoke
(x) paid for a meal with only coins
(x) done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(x) made prank phone calls
(x) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
() caught a snowflake on your tongue
() danced in the rain
() written a letter to Santa Claus
() been kissed under a mistletoe
(x) watched the sun set with someone you care about
(x) blown bubbles
(x) made a bonfire on the beach
() crashed a party
(x) gone rollerskating
(x) had a wish come true
() worn pearls
() jumped off a bridge
() ate dog/cat food
() told a complete stranger you loved them
() kissed a mirror
(x) sang in the shower
() have a black dress
(x) had a dream that you married someone
(x) glued your hand to something
() got your tongue stuck to a flag pole
(x) kissed a fish
(x) worn the opposite sexes clothes
() been a cheerleader
(x) sat on a roof top
(x) screamed at the top of your lungs
() done a one-handed cartwheel
() talked on the phone for more than 6 hours
(x) stayed up all night
() didn't take a shower for a week
(x) pick and ate an apple right off the tree
(x) climbed a tree
(x) had a tree house
(x) are scared to watch scary movies alone
(x) believe in ghosts
() have more then 30 pairs of shoes
() worn a really ugly outfit to school just to see what others say
() gone streaking
(x) played chicken
(x) been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on
(x) caught a fish then ate it
() caught a butterfly
(x) laughed so hard you cried
(x) cried so hard you laughed
(x) mooned/flashed someone
(x) had someone moon/flash you
() cheated on a test
() have a Britney Spears CD
(x) forgotten someone's name
(x) slept naked (ha!!)

Which Nigerian spammer are You?

airborne is rob hills band (you may have heard me rave about him about a year ago) they have recently started releasing... they are really good!!! go to their site, listen to demos and PLEASE JOIN THE MAILING LIST... they wont send you much at all, but the more people on the mailing list the more gigs they get...
go to their site http://www.airbornemusic.co.uk/

well... sisters at least...
i am down a sister for the next 6 months and i can tell you I am certainly going to miss her, life will be so different without her...
well in all truths i cant wait for her to arrive and start enjoyin herself!!

cheers
luke

sometimes it is hard to tell the difference between being mary vs. martha, and the man given 5 talents vs. the man given 1 talent

to go into further detail
1 mary sat at the feet of jesus, listened and took time out when it was needed
martha rushed around working, cleaning, cooking etc.
2 the man given 5 talents (an ammount of money) used his gift for good and came back with 10 talents
the man given 1 talent buried it and didn't use his gift for good

in the first story mary was doing the best thing by not doing anything, in the second the man who used his gifts was doing the right thing...

sometimes people just get the two confused